The questions you ask yourself often shape the way you think, the choices you make and the life you create. Learning to ask better questions isn’t always easy, but it can be one of the simplest ways to gain clarity and move forward.
Here are a few questions to get you started.
What did you used to like to do? Revisiting things that you did as a child or as a teenager can help you feel inspired, strengthen your brain, and may even relieve depression and anxiety. If you played a little guitar back in the day, pick it up again. Did you like to paint but don’t want to invest in the art supplies you’d need to become the next Rembrandt? Try an adult coloring book. It’s fun and even a little meditative. This is not about getting in touch with your inner child or about achieving greatness, but about tuning in to what used to be fun.
What step are you avoiding? Success, whether in your career or personal relationships, often requires taking risks. If you’ve been avoiding your next step, calling it procrastination is just being self-defeating. The truth is that you may be too scared to make a move. That’s only human, but it’s also something you can change. Once you identify what’s holding you back, you can choose to act anyway. That’s better than never having tried — and once you try, you can do it again.
Where did you go right (not wrong)? When things haven’t gone the way you planned, it can sometimes be hard to see what you did well in the situation. For example, if your relationship ended, you may only see all the things you did wrong, and while it’s wise to look at those actions, it’s also good not to focus too hard on them. Make yourself see the actions you took that were good for you and the one you loved. This can be tough to do, especially when a loss is new but it is important to your healing and growth.
What changes should you make? Most of us know the basics of living a healthier life (for example, I should be writing this on a treadmill). Figuring out what makes us happier may be more complicated, but there are always steps you can take. It will help if you learn to embrace change. Change is inevitable, so rather than waiting for it to happen to you, be proactive and shape your own path.
What can you do to help? Giving your time, talents or resources to help others can benefit both your community and your own well-being. Whether you volunteer locally or support a cause across the globe, contributing to something other than yourself can bring a renewed sense of purpose and connection. Over time, those acts of generosity can help you feel better and reinforce the value you bring to the world.
Asking yourself honest questions can help you stay focused on what matters, keep your goals in perspective, and make choices with the life you want. It’s amazing how things clear up when you get real with yourself.
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an award-winning psychotherapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of eight booksa a nd a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with nearly 35 million readers. He is available for in-person and video consults worldwide, reach him at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com.
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